Broken Arrow

By Gwen Mills



Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to whom ever holds the rights to the television series "Walker, Texas Ranger" with the exception of Wren O'hara and various bad guys I invent just to make the character of Carlos Sandoval miserable. This story was written for pleasure, not for profit. Please don't sue me... It would be a waste of your time and money since I'm already broke. Oh yeah- the plot line is mine too. And, no using it or Wren without my permission, because as previously stated I'm broke and I just might sue you for giggles..

This is a continuation of the American Roulette storyline series. Don't forget to read the lyrics at the end, as they are as much of the story as the story itself. Also - If you liked this and/or would like to get a better feel for the story - read the rest of the chapters and go buy the self-titled cd by Robbie Robertson.

Thank-you's going out to my list buddies for the critiques and beta editing; to Robbie Robertson for the incredible music to write by; to the creators of the original show for coming up with someone interesting enough to want to write about(and then casting someone mighty fine looking to play the part); and last but definately not least- Ms Sheri. Your friendship, encouragement, love and loyalty have made a world of difference for me. Thanks for the reality checks, the sanity checks ("yup- we're still crazy..."), the ego checks and the sobriety checks. Oh yeah - also for being there to smack me when I get panicky...

Now, on to the story!
 
 
 
 

Carlos sat at the bedside of the woman who had filled his heart with love after so long. Listening to the hiss of the ventilator that kept her clinging to life, as his tears silently fell to the rhythm of the machine. They had told him she probably wouldn't wake, but he waited and watched anyway. Hoping, praying that the words they had spoken would not be their last.

Wren had seized hold of his world and turned it upside down. She'd have stolen his heart had he not given it to her willingly. They had both tried hard to fight the attraction, and both failed miserably. Carlos found her intimidating, beautiful and infuriating all at once when they had first met. Wren had argued with him over every little thing, from departmental policy to who was overstepping who's boundries. It still never ceased to amaze him how beautiful she was when she was angry.

"No, you're NOT!" He was furious, and the venom in his voice dripped across her ears.

"Carlos, its my JOB. I cannot walk out on this assignment, even if I could I wouldn't. What has gotten into you?" Wren was exasperated.

"Look, let Anna take it over. Please, I just have a feeling about this one... Or-"

"You didn't answer me! What the hell is wrong with you?" She yelled back. "You never had a problem with this before."

"Wren, I-" Carlos stated, trying to lower his voice. "I have to see you like that."

"What?" Wren looked even more confused then when the argument started.

"I'm working this one too, remember?" he asked frustrated. "I am going to have to see you in action and I don't know if I will be able to handle it, alright? Jesus Wren - I'm human. What?"

As understanding started to dawn, her smile played at the corners of her mouth. The stairwell they stood in was deserted and she stepped closer to him. "You don't think you can handle seeing me like what, Carlos?"

"L-l-like that. Like-" he leaned his back against the wall, "Like someone's paid pet."

"Then ask to be pulled, because I'm not going to." Wren said lowering her voice a bit. "I have worked too hard on this case for too long to walk away from it now."

"But-" Carlos began to argue anew.

"No buts," Wren stated flatly, "This argument is over. If you have a problem with me doing my job then maybe we don't belong together."

He paled as the words hit him one at a time, "Wren, it's just that-"

"No," she stated coldly, "I went through this once already, I'm not playing this game again. How dare you ask me to-"

Wren felt the anger growing and stopped herself. Closing her eyes, taking a deep breath she turned her back to Carlos. He put his hands first on her shoulders, and then around her waist.

She didn't get the Prince Charming act that he had down so perfectly. He pulled Wren against himself and sighed, "I'm sorry. It just makes me crazy to -" he stopped himself in mid-sentence, reaching for the words that would make her understand, "to think about someone else touching you. To see it with my own eyes-"

Wren turned to look up into his eyes with a smile playing again on the corners of her mouth, "Is that it? Did you read my report? I mean really read it?"

"Yes, I read it. Why?" Carlos wore the confused expression now.

"You know me better then that, Carlos." Wren said, putting her arms around his waist. "I'm nothing like what you're thinking. I've established myself as a "bodyguard". Not a boy toy."

"I know that here," he said gesturing at his temple, "But..."

"But, its different to see it live and in person - I know."

"Maybe you're right," he sighed. "Maybe we can't work together and be together."

"Carlos-" Wren started, "We're adults. We can talk about this on our down time. Right now we both have a job to do, and if you're not sure you can do this, speak up now. I'm too deep to pull out of this investigation, but, you're not. Jimmy could take over for you-"

"I'll talk to him," he said quietly, "I'm sorry. I really am."

Wren smiled, "Sorry for what? Speaking your peace?" She laughed quietly. "I need that from you. No holds barred, remember? I made you promise."

Carlos leaned his forehead to hers, "I feel like I'm letting you down though." he sighed. "I'm just afraid I won't be able to keep up the front if push came to shove, and that could get both of us hurt."

"I know, I understand that, and you're not letting me down." Wren tried to reassure him, "You're only being honest. If we're going to work together and play together we need to be able to talk like this."

"But-" Carlos started to protest.

"Yabuts live in the woods." Wren laughed. "I'm serious, speak up now. We've never had to work side by side like this before. We've been lucky up till now. If you're sure, hand it off to Jimmy. Now, while its still an option."

He sighed, "I'll think on it this afternoon, okay? We have that meeting with Walker at four."

"He's going to be concerned about this too I guess." Wren sighed. "He'll probably address it if we don't."

Carlos nodded, "I'd rather be decided before we get there."

"That would be a good idea." Wren said sarcastically, laughing. "I'd better get back up there and start on the mountain of paperwork that is my desk. "

Carlos looked up and down the stairs and then seeing it was still empty, planted a quick kiss on Wrens lips.

Wren pulled away slowly, smiling up at him. "Are you sure you don't want to see me work? It could be... interesting..."

He leaned against the wall heavily, "Don't tease me about this... It's not fair."

"Well," she said in a seductive voice, "I like to tease you. You react so very well to teasing."

The eyebrow shot up, just before he reached out and pulled her tightly to him, "You're not the only one who knows how to tease ya know."

He opened her mouth with his, and was searching her mouth with his tongue. Then, just as quickly, he was walking away down the stairs leaving her breathless and standing with her mouth hanging open. She couldn't see the self satisfied smile he had on his face till he rounded the corner of the stairwell.

"Hey," Carlos looked up to see her leaning on the railing looking down at him, "I'll remember that."

"I know you will." He laughed. "I'll see you at the meeting."

Carlos heard her laughter echoing down the stairs as he reached for the door.

This time it had been him that had been furious. Now, he couldn't even remember what had started it. Carlos vaguely wondered if she knew he was here. Was this how it had felt for her when she sat at his bedside wondering if he would wake? He wondered if the memories had come to her as they were coming to him now.

His eyes closed as he pictured her against the star filled sky on that first Christmas eve, breathtaking in her full length evening dress. Remembering the first time he held her close, kissed her sweet lips, the feel of her skin against his hands. Carlos had decided enough was enough that night. He had tried to treat her as just another co-worker and couldn't. If they weren't arguing, he was completely tongue tied whenever she had been near. He'd finally gotten the courage to broach the subject of "them" when he'd put his arms around her on that dance floor. Wren fit so perfectly in his arms, had felt so right as they swayed back and forth slowly to the music. It was supposed to be a joke to their friends, who'd goaded them into taking the floor in the first place. It had turned into so much more.

They had been together ever since that long, passionate night. He'd held her close as she danced with him at CD's, much to the amazement of his friends, whenever he could. Her friends as well, for she'd won them over within the first month of being in Texas. Wren had been his strength, his conscience, his life since that first night. She'd shocked him, loved him in ways he didn't know were possible. She had gone from the ice princess to being so passionate, he thought he burn alive from her touch in an instant.

How the time had flown by so quickly he couldn't fathom. Christmas. It was only two weeks away again. Carlos shook himself from his daydreams to look upon her face. She looked so peaceful laying there like a white china doll. Beautiful to him even with the tubes that entangled her, going in every direction. He fought down the swirling emotions that combined inside of him as he looked down at her. Furious with himself for not seeing the gun sooner, for screaming too late. The grief of the doctors prediction, the fear of once again being alone.

Carlos hadn't realized just how very lonely he had been, until Wren had filled his days and nights with such love. Gently he lifted her hand to his lips, and then held it between both of his, leaning his forehead onto them. He was certain, without her he would again be hollow and cold. Wren would be taking the best part of him with her. And Carlos couldn't bear to think of it. Call it denial, call it faith, call it desperation. He would not believe the doctors until he placed his own flower on her grave.

Wren had already proved so many people wrong. He wanted her to do it again. Praying for her to come through just one more time. He let the tears flow across their hands. As the memories continued to assault him. Picturing her on the day they'd gone to the fair. Picturing her as she tossed her hair back over her shoulder laughing. The sun flowing through it. The smile she wore when she let her guard down, the one she wore for him and him alone. The one that out shone the sun and moon. He could hear her laughing, her lilting speech as they walked hand in hand down the mid-way, talking about nothing, anything, everything.

Carlos felt his world caving in around him as he had watched her fall. It was playing in his mind over and over. He had shot the man only a heartbeat too late. The gun came up, she stepped in front of him, and as she went down he was already emptying his rounds into the mans chest. It might have been only a few moments in time, but when it played through in his head it went agonizingly slow. Its was just like Wren to give up everything, without thinking of the consequence. Carlos wondered if she knew she was everything to him, and that bothered him more then everything else.

Carlos watched everything from then on as if looking on it from outside of himself. Shock. He'd heard the doctor say it to Walker as they looked in his direction. Maybe the doctor was right. He was furious with Wren. He couldn't believe how angry he was. She had seen it coming and stood there all the same. It should have been him. It would have hit him in the heart. It took her in the lung instead. Carlos knew even as he was angry with her, that had the roles been reversed, he'd of done the exact same thing. Which made him even angrier. It should have been him.

He pictured her sprawled across the bed working on paperwork, watching her as she fussed at the tip of her pen with her mouth lost in thought, unaware of him watching her as she worked. The smile that came shining through when she realized he was there. The way she opened up her arms to him when she saw him, as if knowing how he felt without him having to say a word. How, even though she was half the size he was, she could still wrap herself around him making him forget the bad days and sharing the good ones.

Carlos didn't know when it had happened for sure, and had spent endless hours trying to figure it out before giving up and just reveling in her, in them. He knew, now a little too late, that he loved her. It was a revelation that shook him to the core. Trent had always teased him about when he finally did fall, he'd fall hard. Carlos never knew it could be like this, never imagined how intense it would be. Especially now that he was losing her. He laid his head down on the bed, still holding her hand in his, as his eyes grew heavy. He was utterly exhausted, and drifted off to sleep gripping her hand tightly, as if holding on for dear life.

***************






The future he'd begun to picture, the dreams she'd shared with him swirled about mixing with his already confused and battered emotions. Carlos wanted to tell her how he felt and it'd weighed on him that he couldn't. Sighing as he heard the nurse come in behind him, knowing it was time for him to go again. Back to the apartment. The empty apartment. Another sleepless night, wishing he was holding her to him, wishing he could bury his face in her hair as she slept next to him.

Without words he left the room feeling the weight of the world heavy on his shoulders. The darkness he walked into surprised him almost as much as the bite in the air that slapped him as walked out of the hospital. It had been a week already. No changes, just the routine he'd slipped into somewhere along the way. Home to the machine blinking at him with messages he didn't want to listen to anymore, lay in bed until the exhaustion overtook him, get up and drive to the hospital and sit with her until he was shoed out into the night again. Avoiding Trent, avoiding Walker, avoiding work. He would honestly not be surprised if he was in trouble.

Carlos had requested a leave of absence and not waited for an answer, just stopped going in. He didn't have the heart, the strength to look at her empty desk, to deal with the pitying looks he knew he would get. He didn't want their pity, he wanted his "partner" back. Wren was his partner in life, in love and in every other way he could think of and he wanted her with him now. As he pulled out into the street, he headed home only to drive right past it. Over and over the memories came to him. He could almost hear her laughter now.

He didn't know where he was going until he found himself putting the car in park in the churches lot. Walking to the door, Carlos hesitated only for a moment before going through the doors. The empty pew he sat down upon was right in the front of the sanctuary. Looking to the cross that hung larger then life in front of him, Carlos felt the tears coming again. Just when he thought there weren't any left, they returned -again.

Lost. Without a clue as to what, where or when, just totally lost. Carlos longed for her to be next to him, to feel her looking at him across the station. Their not-so-secret looks they shared, mouthing a silent "Be careful" across the room to each other. They had tried in vain to keep their relationship quiet at work. It had been impossible to hide though. They always ended up standing close to each other, when they walked together they always fell into step with one another without meaning to. Nothing about them had to be forced, it all had just fallen into place.

Now, Carlos found himself falling to pieces. He couldn't get a grip on anything. Not work, not his emotions, not the memories that kept flooding back everytime he turned to look for her and found she wasn't there. Only a week, yet it seemed like an eternity. Bowing his head, eyes closed he asked silently- why? He'd never been a praying man, never really asked God for anything. He was begging and pleading now. The painful emptiness he felt was what had kept him going this week. Only, he was tired. Bone tired. With no relief in sight.

So, he prayed. Cried. And then, prayed some more. Not hearing the woman sit behind him, he was startled by the light touch on his shoulder. When he turned to see her, she smiled at him sadly. She stood and came to sit next to him without a word. Gently taking his hand, the frail woman squeezed it with a strength that surprised him. The arm that went around his shoulder and pulled him into a motherly embrace also surprisingly strong. Yet, the fingertips that brushed at his tears were gentle. He finally broke down completely as she rocked him slowly.

She had stayed with him until he had cried himself out. To exhausted to be embarassed, to frustrated to care what anyone thought, he'd said nothing when she stood up. She'd smiled then, and gave one last squeeze to his hand. When he looked up into the old woman's eyes finally, she met his gaze and leaned down to kiss his forehead.

"Have faith child, and you will find your heart in your arms again."

It struck him, moments after she'd walked into the night, that he'd told her nothing, and yet she somehow had known. Pulling himself up off the pew, he walked to the exit looking over his shoulder one more time at the cross. Not daring to believe, afraid to hope what she said might be true. Stepping out into the cold night he headed home once more.

Instead, he found himself at the park they'd walked in so many times. Walking to the pond they used to sit next to for little picnics in their down time. Rembering the sounds of the children screaming in their delight as they played. The air the last time they'd had the chance to come had been filled with that sweet, smokey fireplace smell. The leaves had already fallen and they crunched underneath his feet as he walked the path he knew by heart in the darkness. Looking to the sky, he let the cloudless night surround him.

Carlos watched as a star fell through the night sky, closing his eyes, he made his wish. His plea thrown out into the night sky. Turning back towards his car, he looked up one last time before making his way back. The ache in him was slowly swallowing him. Taking his time, walking slowly and delibrately, he took deep breaths trying to calm his racing heart, feeling every bit like he was having a panic attack.

Sitting heavily in the drivers seat, his empty stomach rumbled complaint at being neglected for so long. As Carlos started the engine, he was on auto-pilot as drove into the night. Aimless, he drove the city, as block by block the buildings slid by him in a blurr through the tears and memories that had come yet again over him. Glancing at the clock set in his dashboard it flashed at him, 1:45 in the morning. Absently, he felt for his wallet and turned towards CD's restaurant. Knowing he'd have to eat, for no other reason then to keep his strength up to sit with her as she slowly slipped away from him.

The lot was almost empty when he pulled in, and parking next to the door he ducked inside, quietly taking a spot at the end of the bar that was half hidden by the rest of the bar. Ordering his food, and a cup coffee, he rested his back against the wall and let his face rest in his hands.

"It's good to see you, son."

CD's voice startled him slightly. Carlos hadn't seen his car in the lot. Nodding as the older man sat down beside him, not finding any words to say, Carlos remained silent.

"We've all been worried 'bout you. How you holdin' up?" Touched by the old man's concern, Carlos shrugged, not trusting his voice to speak.

"She's holdin her own?" CD asked quietly. Since he all but chased everyone out of the room, furious with them for not believing as he did that she would pull through, they wouldn't come in to see her if he was there.

Carlos nodded. Looking at the plate the barmaid had placed in front of him, he picked at his food, rearranging it more then he was eating it. His shaky hand reached for the mug of coffee instead, sipping the bitter strong brew.

"You look tired son. No- actually, I take that back. You look like hell. Why you doing this to yourself?" CD asked, harsher then he'd intended.

"What?" Carlos was incredulous, "I ... She's everywhere I look CD. Or she should be. I can't shake it, and I can't stop thinking how it should have been me. I would trade places in a heartbeat. Jesus, what's happening to me CD?"

"Love ain't never been easy for anyone, son. Its one test after another. You can't keep this up. We've all been trying to give you some space but, Carlos- we're worried about you."

"Its not me you should be worried about. I'm not the one who's dy-...Who's in the hospital..."

"No, but thats were you're headed. Son, we don't want to lose you too." Cd's words hurt with the honesty they spoke.

"She can't die. CD, she can't. I won't let her leave me. Not now." As he heard his own voice crack, a silent tear dropped into the cup he clung to and he watched the tiny ripples it caused without looking up.

CD's hand went to the younger mans shoulder, "Carlos, I know it's hard to accept. It'll get easier, I promise."

"I never told her CD." he whispered without looking up.

"Told her what, Carlos?"

"How I felt. I never got to tell her how I felt. She has to pull through CD, don't you see? She can't go without knowing, she can't...do that..." His voice cracked again, and he closed his eyes as he lifted his head, "...to me."

"I'm sorry Carlos. I didn't know... Well, I guess I did. I just didn't realize it had come to that already." CD said weakly.

Carlos smiled the tiniest bit at the irony, "Funny, neither did I... Neither did I... I always have been kind of dense with this stuff, haven't I?"

CD looked at the bitter smile his young friend wore. Wishing there was something he could say that would help, anything that would ease the pain that looked out from behind those haunted eyes.

"You really believe she'll be okay, don't you?" CD asked of Carlos quietly.

He nodded as he spoke with desparation in his voice, "She has to be CD. We had a fight that morning, and I never get the last word when we argue. She'll be okay, if for no other reason than to get in the last word. She's stronger then anyone I know, she'll pull through. She has to."

CD was moved by the young man, "Well, you'd know better then the rest of us I guess. So, if thats what you feel, you must be right.", afraid for the young man that sat beside him, "If you say she'll pull through, than she will."

Carlos looked over at CD, meeting his eyes for the first time, "I say so."

CD pictured the young couple, rembering how they had slow danced across this very floor, to the cheers of their shared friends. Pictured them as they sat, even when not touching, how they leaned towards each other. CD could almost hear the little spitfire of a woman's laughter now, echoing through the now empty room. He could see Carlos was hearing the same. The smiles he saw when they looked at each other, how they'd lit the room with a light of their own. Looking at the man beside him and feeling his unwavering faith, he said a silent prayer that Carlos was right, knowing how badly shattered his friend would be if proven wrong.

"Carlos, go home. Get some rest, she needs your strength now. Go on," he waved away the money Carlos attempted to hand him, "Its on me son, go on home. The morning is already here and you're beat. Get some rest."

"Thanks CD. I-," Carlos stood to leave, "I'm sorry I yelled at everyone. It's just tha-" CD cut him off in the middle of his apology.

"Don't son. We all understand. We're here for you, if you need us for anything. And, I do mean anything, even just someone to sit with, alright?"

He nodded slightly, "Yeah, thanks."

CD watched Carlos walk, shoulders slumped, out into the night. Making a mental note to get a hold of Trent and Walker first thing to let them know Carlos had been in, and how bad he had looked. Fond was an understatement of what he had felt for the woman that lay in the hospital. She'd become like one of his own to him. Had Carlos not shot and killed the man who had done this, CD knew there were more than a few that would have hunted him down and done so, with out reguard for the consequences. He counted himself among them.

Carlos fell into the cold, empty bed still clothed, and this night, sleep came quickly to him. As if in an attempt to make up for the coming hell. He had slept for almost twenty-four hours straight. The phone's were both ringing, his cell from the corner where he'd thrown it, and the house phone from the wall. Disoriented at first, when his pager went off from its place on the desk he knew with a sinking heart, that he needed to get to the hospital before he ever looked at the number left on the display.

He threw himself into the doors and headed for the elevator at a run. As the doors slid open, he felt the eyes of the friends who waited there for him fall on him with grief that almost matched his own. He didn't stop until he reached the doorway to her room. Seeing the doctor look to him with sadness in his old eyes, Carlos went to her side and sank into the chair that sat there waiting for him. Gingerly, he picked up her hand, and kissed it, feeling the fading warmth one last time.

"I'm sorry son. Truly sorry. We did everything we could, it just wasn't enough this time."

"Oh God..."

Carlos felt himself shattering as the words struck him. He had no idea how long he sat there. He didn't remember Trent taking him from the room, or the words they had all said to him as he was led through the crowd of people that had gathered. He was too busy trying to remember how to breathe. He didn't remember the drive to Trent's apartment or what the pills had been that allowed him to sleep without dreaming. Or the days before the funeral.

Trent had refused to hear of him going back to the apartment once he'd realized the condition his best friend was in. It had taken two days to get a single word from him. Trent knew Carlos was in trouble. The man he had known had been replaced with a shadow. And shadows couldn't speak or be spoken to. His friend was slipping away as surely as Wren had, and nothing anyone said or did was reaching him.

They had all been surpised that he hadn't cried with them at the funeral. Not a sound had passed from the man that had, even before Wren had come into his life, kept them laughing in the hardest of times. He went forward to the grave and placed his white rose on her casket, his movements like a dead man walking.

Carlos couldn't feel anything. He looked at the crowd of people that had come. They'd come in such numbers the crowd over flowed into the street. Numbly, he stood as the people came to him and offered their condolences in the cold drizzle that fell soundlessly down around him. Trent, CD, Alex, Walker and Jimmy all stood with him as the line slowly dwindled and people drifted one by one, trying to escape the suffocating grief that they all felt.

Carlos made his way back to his car slowly, his friends following him, awkard in the silence that surrounded him.

It was Alex that had broke the silence first, "Carlos, I've taken care of seeing you get some leave time. You don't have to come back until you're ready. You can take as long as you need."

He looked into the distance, "Thanks Alex. I'm not sure- I don't know if..."

"Take your time with this, Carlos. We need you. So, you take as much time as you need." Walker finished for Alex, seeing the pain in the younger detective's eyes. The pain that was almost his not so long ago.

"Trent said you've been staying with him, I think maybe you should for a while longer Carlos. Just until you decide what you're going to do for sure." CD added, as he pulled the younger man into his arms with a strong hug.

Carlos took a deep breath as CD released him. "I need to go get some things first. From my place."

"You want some help?" Trent asked quietly, the hollow sound to his friends voice bothering him.

"No, I just- I just need to get a few things." Carlos said, smiling weakly, "I'll be over before you know it."

"Carlos-" Trent started.

"Please, Trent. I just want to get a few things. I'm a big boy, I can handle packing a bag." The sarcasm dripped from his voice as he said it.

"Well, you take too long, and I'll come looking for you. Mom said she expects you to show for dinner with me. You know she hates it when you're late for dinner."

Carlos laughed quietly, "I know. I'll try to hurry." He looked from one of his friends to the next, meeting their eyes one pair at a time, "Thanks, guys. For being here, I mean. It means alot to me."

Jimmy held his hand out to Carlos, and he took it, "If you need anything Carlos, give me a call, okay?"

"Yeah, Jimmy. No problem. Look, I'd better go. If I'm going to make it in time for dinner." He said, looking in Trents direction.

"You're sure-"

"Yes, Trent. I'm sure. I'll talk to you guys later, okay?" Turning from his friends towards his car, he sighed as he walked away, silently praying that in time they would forgive him for what he was about to do.

He waved as he took a last look at his friends who had been there for him time and time again. He pulled into traffic and headed home one last time.

"Look, I better go. Guys, I'll call and let you know how he's doing in a couple days." Trent said as he extended his hand to CD, Jimmy, Alex and Walker.

"You follow him back to his place. I don't like the idea of him being alone right now. Its too soon." CD said quietly.

Trent smiled weakly, "I was going to. Take care." He said making his way to his car, traffic had picked up and it took longer then he liked to into traffic himself and get going.

Carlos had gotten to his apartment faster then he thought he would. Shivering at the empty echo that greeted him, he went for the kitchen cupboard that held a lone bottle of the 151 he had bought in what seemed like a different lifetime. It was covered in dust even though it had been inside the closed cabinet, waiting for him. The burning it caused as he swallowed was the first thing he'd felt in days it seemed.

Taking another long pull from the bottle, he moved to the lone picture that held residence on his desk. He didn't remember who had taken it now, but it was the two of them together, sitting in the grass at HOPE. She had been laughing at something when it was taken. He had been sitting behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist. They were both smiling. Laughing. Closing his eyes against the tears, he could hear her laughter. He picked up the picture and carried it to the bed with him and sat down.

Swallowing more of the liquid fire, it felt as if he was moving in slow motion as he reached out for the drawer handle. The muted black handle of his service revolver slid to the front as the drawer tilted at an angle when he'd opened it all the way. Pulling it out with his free hand, and taking another swallow from the bottle in his other, he switched the safety off. His hand felt around in the drawer for a bit, and then came out when he'd found the bullet that he loaded into the chamber.

He looked again to the picture he'd set on the bed next to him. And the tears came once more. He was too intent on what he was about to do to hear the lift being called down to the first floor. He didn't hear it on its way back. He lifted the gun to his heart as the doors began to open, slid the hammer back as they closed again. He never heard the scream of his friend, only the sound of the gun as his vision slowly faded to black.

***************







"NO! You can't let this happen! Please, stop this!" Wren screamed, the tears flowing down her cheeks as she watched the stain spread quickly across his chest, their friend running to his side as Carlos slid to his knees and then onto the floor.

"I show you only what will happen if you travel the rest of this road, child. It is your choice to make."

"You mean-" She started to ask, the womans voice in her head cut her off.

"Yes, this is what will come to pass. Grief upon grief. This man's heart is yours to break. Unless you love enough to return to him."

"But I'm so tired..."

"As is he. Yet, he sits day after day, waiting for you." The impatient voice stated. "Do you love him child?"

"Of course I do!"

"Does he know?" the voice asked quietly,"Have you told him?"

"I-" Wren paused, "No... I never told him. I didn't have the chance."

"You have had chance after chance, time and time again child. And, yet you did not speak your heart anymore then he." the womens voice said, again impatient, "Time is short, you must decide for both of you. Now."

"I have to tell him. I need to tell him. I want to tell him." Wren felt the tears flowing down her face, "I should have told him before."

"Very well, child." the voice in her head said as it faded, "Remember this..."

***************







The alarms that went off woke Carlos from his nightmare with a start, and before the nurses could shoo him from the room entirely he moved to the wall, making himself as small and unoticable as possible. And then slid down its length to the floor.

"Please, no... God, don't do this..." he said into his hands. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up to see Trent standing over him. Vaguely he heard the calling out of the CPR rhythm, and felt the tears coming again. He felt Trent lifting him from the floor, moving him towards the door. He struggled weakly, until he looked over to her pale face. The doctor looked to the clock on the wall, as he stepped back from Wren.

He didn't hear the yell that ripped from his own throat, but it had surprised Trent enough for Carlos to slip away from him, back to the side of the bed. He took her hand in his own and leaned over the bed kissing her forehead, her lips- his tears falling freely onto her face. He didn't hear the doctors startled cry.

He never saw her eyes open, but he felt her squeeze his hand. Barely, but he knew he felt it, he knew it was real. He couldn't look to her eyes, but the rise and fall of her chest had his undivided attention. He didn't hear the doctor begin anew to bark out orders to the nurses, he wasn't aware of anything, other then willing her to take one breath after another.

Someone had slid the chair he'd been living in since the shooting over and pushed him down into it. Which forced him to look at her face, and see her eyes. Her open eyes. Dazed, dilated, confused, but open. As the room began to settle, it registered that he no longer heard the hiss from the respirator. These breaths were all Wren. She was breathing her own breath. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead again and looked into the bluer then blue eyes. Unfocused though they might have been, he realized she knew he was there.

Leaning towards her ear, he whispered to her through his tears, "I love you."

He hadn't expected to hear her reply or to feel the hand on his cheek, but he got both. As her hand wiped at the tears, he heard the faint whisper, made horse from the tube that had been down her throat, "I love you too."

He searched for something else to say, but couldn't think of anything. So he said it again. And again. He kissed her finger tips, her palm, her face.

"Detective? She really needs to get some rest." he looked up to see a young nurse looking back at him.

"Just a little long-" Wren put her finger tips to his mouth gently cutting him off.

"Its okay. I'll be okay now. Go-get some rest." though her voice was horse, it was still music to his ears, whispered quietly as it was.

He didn't see Trent come in behind the nurse until he felt the reassuring hand again on his shoulder.

"Come on, you're going to have plenty of time to keep her awake- later. You both need to get some rest."

"But-" Carlos started to say weakly.

"I'll be waiting for you to come back. Go..."

"I love you," Carlos said again as he stood and then leaned down to kiss Wren on the lips, "I'll be back soon."

"Love you..." Wren said sleepily, "Be waiting for you..."

He stood looking down at her until her eyes closed and didn't open again.

He looked to Trent, and smiled just the slightest bit. "You look pretty tired yourself, you okay?"

"Had some pretty awful dreams last night. I'll be okay." Trent replied with a nervous laugh, "Come on, you can crash on my couch if you want. Its closer then your place, and that way I can come with you tomorrow. I don't think she knew I was here and I want to say hi."

"I need to ca-" Carlos started to say.

"I asked the nurse to call the station." Trent said cutting him off, "You've got nothing to worry about except getting some sleep. The word will spread from there like wildfire."

Taking one last look at her over his shoulder, he followed his friend out of the hospital. He felt the sun on his face as they walked slowly from the building, and before he got into the car, he looked into the sunlit sky and whispered, "Thank-you."

"What was that, Carlos?" Trent asked.

"Huh? Oh, nothing." he replied with a tired smile, "Just thinking out loud. Let's go."

***************



 
 
 
 
 

Go to Caught in the Moonlight (Chapter Two)
 

Or Back to the Treasury